Summer. (N). [suhm-er]. The period of finest development, perfection, or beauty previous to any decline.

School will soon arrive. I'm looking forward to returning to those hallowed halls for some bizarre reason. And most people would use the perfectly legit, yet cliche reason that they only want to see their friends regularly to explain this feeling, yet I have another opinion on this matter. I miss learning. And I never really thought I would say that, or at least not any time soon. I miss that wonderful feeling you get when you finally understand and accomplish something new in a class. I miss not only scholastic knowledge I gain, but also the simple, seemingly pointless, but somehow I end up using them the next day, facts from my various teachers. And I miss hearing about the life experiences of those older than I, and learning from them.

However the learning did not fully come to a halt in the summer. I did attempt to teach myself a bit of French, rather unsuccessfully. But still, I tried. Also I had my brain tested weekly when I would be, unsuspectingly, spoken to in some complex form of Spanish. And I would have to form an adequate response to prove that I had, in fact, not forgotten what a "truly helpful" skill it is to be bilingual.

Also this summer, I improved wonderfully on the guitar. I can see my progress. It's quite marvelous.

I had a number of firsts this summer.
First "Good" Coffee.
First time I ever dyed my hair blue, or dyed my hair at all for that matter.
First time I ever ran to the top of Firetower.
First outdoor concert.
First time I drove.
First time I got flooded with all those lovely college brochures.
First ribbon fries.
First time going into the pit of people at a concert.
First Chinese Fire Drill.
First kidnapping.
First time I went more than 2 weeks without carbonation.
First time I had to say goodbye to a good friend... because college took them away.
First late night run to the park.
First late night tour of someone's backyard.
First time I drove a stick shift.
First time I went to a bunch of new restaurants. Examples: Huey's, Panera Bread, and Bahama Breeze.
First time I went to the same museum 3 times... in one summer.
First time I whole-heartedly walked into a closed glass door.
First time I hugged anyone for more than like a few seconds... for no real reason.
First time I biked in a long time.
First tree-climbing experience.
First horror movie.
First time for this many firsts.

It was just about the best summer ever. Only thing that could've made it better is if I weren't living in this oppressive oven.

"Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer. Do you know you're unlike any other? You'll always be my thunder, and I said your eyes are the brightest of all the colors. I don't wanna ever love another. You'll always be my thunder. So bring on the rain and bring on the thunder."
-Boys Like Girls :)

Tomorrow... SGA elections. Thats all I've got to say. Here I go.

So on Monday! I will get to see the lovely, awesome band kids. Joy!
It's quite hard to be without them! There has been some kind of odd void in my life without seeing some of my very favorite people walking the halls. It's just a very wierd feeling.. not like this came as a surprise. I mean, obviously, Band Tour has been planned for months. But I mean still kind of a shock once they are all gone.
I do not say this to say I don't have other friends. Duh. Anyone who knows me, knows I have many friends. Don't know why I even clarified that.

But all this to say,

I will probably burst with exceeding happiness when I see my best friends.
I didn't really realize how much time my friends take up in my life, and how much they help me out, and are just, you know, around.
I can't even express how much friends mean to me, and to anyone else who is human I suppose. One of the many things taken for granted by the world.
Isn't it a beautiful blessing to have not only human interaction, but to have people who accept you for who you are!
And you have constant, unfailing knowledge that they've got your back, ineveitably. All my friends are in this category, obviously, but it has been the absence of those darn brilliant, musically talented band kids that has brought this to light for me.

But they'll be back soon enough! I simply cannot wait to catechize them about their inevitably wonderful trip although it was minus me.. haha.
All this to say. I missed them and I tend to rarely admit missing someone, so I suppose that says something.

End Post # 5

So last night...


Talent Show. It was fun. Lithium got third. Good Job to us, I suppose. But aside from all that Jazz, we had fun.


I felt awesomely accomplished when we were through with it..I have never actually devoted that much time to something AND gone through with it. I couldn't have done it on my own. So thanks to everyone who pushed me! It kinda meant a lot to me to feel like someone really, you know, cared about it, and it wasn't just me messing around with the guitar or something. And I hate to sound all corny and what not, but it meant a lot. You may never get it.


Okay, but along with the whole band/talent show thing came two things.. tension and more responsibility.


Okay.. tension and responsibility. My parents. I've ranted about them numerous times. I assure you.. spend more than 2 days with me... you will hear a rant.


So the whole reason, I even had the slightest amount of time to do the show was because I'm not doing track. I was supposed to be focusing on my grades.. or that was the original purpose I gave for not doing track. Cool, I planned on sticking with it.


The talent show had been mentioned.. this was like 2 months ago... I didn't take them seriously to be honest. I knew my guitar skills were seriously lacking (and still are, but not as seriously, apparently) and I figured there was no way they would actually use me in the show.. that would be outrageous.. I would never learn it in time.


Then we had our first practice.. I bombed. I knew it. It was obvious. Thought I was out. Then I WASN't! I was shocked, no doubt. But I had to learn the song over spring break.. somehow I accomplished it. Still don't know how I did. Either way, we practiced every Saturday for 4 weeks, and then Tuesday of this week.


But during this entire time.. my grades declined.. lets say DRASTICALLY. They are so far from hot.. they are in Antarctica. My parents are mad. I'll prolly have to give up music. I hope I bring my grades up, but grades don't mean as much to me as they used to.


Either way I'm sad the talent show is over. I feel some relationships will be weakened by the loss of this activity. I hope it doesn't change.. but it inevitably will. I've grown so close to the people in the group.. I hate to see it end. There has been talk of us staying together and continuing to play on our own. But who know if I'll be permitted to even do it. Either way I learned a lot from this whole experience. The whole responsibility thing hit me. When other people are relying on you, you had better pull through. And the whole performing thing.. I had never played the guitar for anyone really. not even my family. ahh well I have now.


This whole post was prolly a bit scatterbrained.. so unlike me. haha


Either way.. I loved it.. I would do it all again if given the chance. I will never forget it.



End post 4

So I'm really annoyed with my parents right now, but
I am more annoyed with society.
For instance, I simply wanted to go to a friend's house this Saturday to work on my transitions on the guitar. I go to ask my parents.. and they are all.. wait who is this? and well there are going to be TWO guys there! what?! and I was like I need to work on my transitions! and they are all no! I'm sure you do, but thats too bad. Make other plans. They are all like "Its our responsibility as your parents to protect your reputation." Psh..

they seem more concerned with what people will think than what will actually happen.

But what can I do.. nada, zilch, zero.

Also I have been recently disturbed by the lack of support from my parents for my "new type" of friends.. whatever.
So I have recently began to hang around artsy, however you want to describe them, more musically than athletically interested friends. Which is cool.. my parents are still bitter about my not being involved in track.

And I have perfectly legit reasons for not doing track..

1. I need to focus on my grades more since the musical totally killed them and I was just a tad distracted by somthing else last quarter.
2. I wanted to be able to hang out with friends more.. yes being uninolved may seem retro active to this process. But, I was once so involved I didn't even enjoy my activities anymore and it wasn't any fun to do them, really. So it just seemed pointless.
3. I just wanted a break.. so tired all the time.. stress wat s building.. I saw a major crash coming.. I attmepted to avoid.
4. I wanted to focus more on guitar.
5. I simply didn't want to run track. It is not as fun as cross country. Granted most of the same people are involved, but its just different. I don't know how to describe it.

I doubt listing those reasons was necessary, but I just had to get them out there.

Either way all this was a just a small bit of my frustratin towards my parents for their closemindedness to a different form of expression than that of any one else in my family. So I'm different, and attacked fot it. Joy.

So a few weeks ago were quite an experience for me.. probably not to most, but you know.. what is a big deal to one person is some miniscule little thing that

means absolutely nothing more than a speck of dust,

if that much, to someone else. Wow run on sentence.. i think. Just that phrase..

"I think."

Overused constantly, but overlooked somehow.

For instance, one night after being out a bunch of people, I was in the car while my friend was driving me home..

and he just asked me out of the blue if I believe that God exists.

Now if he had asked me like 4 months ago, I would have bitten his head off, and probably ceased conversation with him.. or avoided it. So immature of me..I'm actually quite glad he asked.

I feel like I've taken things for granted,

like something to hide behind when I didn't know what to say, or was too afraid to say it. Well I certainly hope I get this all sorted out soon, or maybe not soon.

Maybe the journey to figuring it all out is more important than the actual idea.

Oh well.. I've changed subjects far too many times...

So I have never had a blog before, but I like the idea, so here I am. Umm well I guess I'm going to use this to express my opinions and what not. I mean whatever come of it, comes of it. It's probably kind of wierd for me to babble on about why I have this blog. Umm well my friend has one, i like his, I got one. That simple. Well I don't have anything else to really say. I'll write back soon!