Tonight was opening night of my last high school drama.

Not one of my friends or family members came to see me.

Thanks guys.

So it would seem logical that someone would get a blog to vent about their thoughts.

However, the blog world is dead.

I'm talking to a large brick wall of nothingness.

The most recent post of anyone who I am following was on Thursday, April 15.

That was like 8 days ago.

And his most recent post before that was way back in the end of January!

The next most recent post from that one was on April 10.

So the whole point of this is being defeated.

Of course, I have little room to talk. My most recent post before like 4 days ago was way back in August, so I'm just being hypocritical.

Ah, I was just having a moment.

Is anyone there at all? Is this a waste?

Hmm. These questions could be taken a lot more deeply than I intended for them to be.


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It's finally the end of the week.

This week has actually been pretty enjoyable. In the past 7 days, I have seen 3 theatrical productions and I'm likely to go see another tomorrow night!

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Seniors only have 9 days left.

I've heard at least 2 dozen people in the junior class, including myself, saying that they don't know what they are going to do once the seniors leave.

I'd like to pretend that I'm gonna be fine and all that jazz, but I cannot say that.

I'm sure I'll be fine after a bit. But it's a very odd position that I am in. That all my classmates are in. That anyone who has graduated high school, or is about to, has been in.

Everyone I know in the blogosphere, minus one person, will be a high school graduate. Off doing their college-y things.

For seniors, it's a bittersweet feeling, or so I've heard. But for the underclassmen directly below them, from what I've gathered, it's a lot more bitter than sweet. Tons of our friends are leaving and we still have another whole year of high school to go through without them. It's like a part of your heart is missing. I wake up in the morning and it feels surreal. It seems like they are just going to be here forever.

Who will smile at me in the morning with the brightest and most sincerely happy smile I have ever seen?

Who will give me my daily hugs? And greet me every morning? And then make me go to class?

Who will talk to me for an hour every day when I have to suffer through study hall?

Who will I complain about Acappella, in Acappella with?

Who will I be happy in Acappella with, like I am now?

Who is going to tell me all about their strange dreams every day?

Who is going to make me laugh every day during 1st period?

Who am I going to have to look up to on campus? The like 5 people in my class that are older than me?

Will my relationships with these people turn into weak IM conversations and the occasional phone call?

That's what some of my relationships with my friends already in college have been reduced to. However, there are some that are thriving. And I really hope I can salvage a good number of my relationships with these seniors also.

Also, as a result of them graduating, suddenly I'm a senior?

That's really queer.

There's a senior parent's meeting this Monday. I'm anxious about the things that are going to be discussed there.

Feelings are mixed at this point.

Two things I do know are:

A. I'm going to be crying my eyes out on stage at Baccalaureate.

B. I'm going to be carrying a rather large and cumbersome box of tissues to graduation.

Ah well.

All good things must come to an end.

So if someone were to say to you: "I've got to consult your mother about it; I will talk to you tonight when I get home." what would that mean to you?
I mean, seriously?
Since when does a parent saying "I will talk to you." mean that you, as the child, have to go and strike up conversation with them about it.
Granted you, the child, are the reason that this conversation between your parents is even being had. Because it is about you asking to go out for something.
But, on previous and most recent occasions, I have been told what was going down.
Excuse me for assuming the pattern would continue.
I based my actions on previous experience.
Granted, there have been some occasions when I have had to go confront my parents about an event.
But there have also been occasions where I have asked if they have decided upon an answer yet and I get jumped upon for asking and being too overeager.
"I haven't even discussed it with your mother yet! I'll discuss it on my own time! Back off or you won't go at all!"
I thought about striking up the conversation with my father, but at the time he didn't seem to be in an exceedingly pleasant mood.
I decided that that may not have been the best time and I assumed that my father would tell us before he retired to his room, like he always does.
Yet again, pardon me for assuming this wasn't going to change on the one night I was counting on it being constant.
And then I was informed by my dear mother that some sort of a "bell" should have gone off in my head.
"When your father is in a bad mood, he doesn't tell anyone when he's going to bed! You know that! Duhh June."
Thanks Mom, thanks.
And I don't particularly like metaphors when I'm trying to express my opinion on a matter that the opposing party could care less about.
Ah, well. I should really learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes.
It gets me into a good bit of trouble.
"Next time, June. Just make your point. Listen to what they have to say and walk away."
So I'm not supposed to defend my opinion at all?
I'm not even trying to impose the belief of my opinion on anyone.
But simply the understanding and respect of it.
Ah well. I lost this battle. I'll probably lose the war too.
But hey, I'm a minor living in my parent's house off of my parent's income. What's a teenage girl to do?
I'm so often misunderstood. Or more often than not, I'm assumed to be doing things just to be disobedient and disrespectful. I mean, really? Why would I waste my precious time trying to spite someone who has such authority over me?
Come on...



Also.
Another point.
I do not think you can really spend too much time with someone.
It's not like I'm neglecting the other people in my life.
And being in a group setting with someone and being in a one on one setting with someone is totally and completely different.
Just sayin'.

There's this person.
I don't really like them.
I sound like I'm in junior high.
But I really don't like said person.
Not sure why.
I am kind of troubled by it, really.
I like to imagine that I am a generally friendly person.
Apparently, I'm not judgemental either.
I had never noticed that quality until someone mentioned it in passing.
I shrugged it off at the time.
However recently there has been this new person in my life.
I'm not close to them.
But they are close to someone I'm close to.
We encounter eachother occasionally.
We don't talk to eachother.
Heck.
We barely acknowledge eachother's presence.
I'm ignored.
I tried to be nice.
I stopped trying months ago.
I could care less.
This person just seems so fake to me.
Granted, I do not know them.
But first impressions mean a lot.
This person attends church.
But all I ever see from them is all this stuff that contradicts that fact.
And this person talks to my friend a bit too much for my liking.
Everyone I talk to says that they are nice.
Maybe I'm just jumping the gun.
Maybe I'm jealous.
I'm probably selfish.
But this has really been bothering me for quite a while.
I can't really address this problem with my friend right now.
I guess I'll address it eventually.
Although, that's unlikely considering I avoid conflict like I avoid putting chocolate and peanut butter together.
I'm pretty sure it will not be a problem for much longer.
School is almost out.
Especially for the seniors.


This typography is so boring for me, I know.
I don't really feel good about emphasizing my particular dislikes about certain people with uppercase and bold lettering.
Just a preference.

We all look up to someone, somewhere.
Whether you can admit it to them, your nosy next door neighbor, your altruistic best friend, your unwillingly devoted cat, or absolutely no one, you look up to them.
We may know said person, or they may be some seemingly unattainable role model in some far off land.
But since when is anyone always right?
Nobody's perfect, except for the Big Guy Upstairs, of course. But that's beside the point.
It is quite possible for your role model, who you give all this hype to, to be absolutely and utterly wrong about something.
Just because everyone else seems to be doing something doesn't make it sensible.
Just because it is seen as socially acceptable in some circles does not mean that it is in your best interest.
If you made one mistake once, or perhaps you didn't even see it as a mistake, but simply decided against taking that course of action because of the people in your life, why would you consider taking that same course of action again while the same people are still in your life?
I think the people around us affect us more than we like to admit.
When it seems like we have been doing so well, suddenly one of our role models confesses to someone else that they have had this desire to do something for years.
Even though it is only going to pull you down.
But, of course, they don't see it that way.
Not even you fully see it that way, at the moment.
But you will, if you chose to take this course of action.
This someone else that the person you look up to has confessed their terrible, life-destroying, only going to pull you down thing does care about you.
It is highly likely that they are only looking out for your best interest.
Too bad it is often the case that we are far too afraid that someone is going to be offended by our caring.
And if we are the ones being cared about, we are far quick to make assumptions.
Too bad.
Just because.





P.S.
I'm well aware of the many, many changes between second and third person in this writing.
I was just saying what's on my mind.
And my mind is not, nor does it have to be grammatically correct.

Summer. (N). [suhm-er]. The period of finest development, perfection, or beauty previous to any decline.

School will soon arrive. I'm looking forward to returning to those hallowed halls for some bizarre reason. And most people would use the perfectly legit, yet cliche reason that they only want to see their friends regularly to explain this feeling, yet I have another opinion on this matter. I miss learning. And I never really thought I would say that, or at least not any time soon. I miss that wonderful feeling you get when you finally understand and accomplish something new in a class. I miss not only scholastic knowledge I gain, but also the simple, seemingly pointless, but somehow I end up using them the next day, facts from my various teachers. And I miss hearing about the life experiences of those older than I, and learning from them.

However the learning did not fully come to a halt in the summer. I did attempt to teach myself a bit of French, rather unsuccessfully. But still, I tried. Also I had my brain tested weekly when I would be, unsuspectingly, spoken to in some complex form of Spanish. And I would have to form an adequate response to prove that I had, in fact, not forgotten what a "truly helpful" skill it is to be bilingual.

Also this summer, I improved wonderfully on the guitar. I can see my progress. It's quite marvelous.

I had a number of firsts this summer.
First "Good" Coffee.
First time I ever dyed my hair blue, or dyed my hair at all for that matter.
First time I ever ran to the top of Firetower.
First outdoor concert.
First time I drove.
First time I got flooded with all those lovely college brochures.
First ribbon fries.
First time going into the pit of people at a concert.
First Chinese Fire Drill.
First kidnapping.
First time I went more than 2 weeks without carbonation.
First time I had to say goodbye to a good friend... because college took them away.
First late night run to the park.
First late night tour of someone's backyard.
First time I drove a stick shift.
First time I went to a bunch of new restaurants. Examples: Huey's, Panera Bread, and Bahama Breeze.
First time I went to the same museum 3 times... in one summer.
First time I whole-heartedly walked into a closed glass door.
First time I hugged anyone for more than like a few seconds... for no real reason.
First time I biked in a long time.
First tree-climbing experience.
First horror movie.
First time for this many firsts.

It was just about the best summer ever. Only thing that could've made it better is if I weren't living in this oppressive oven.

"Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer. Do you know you're unlike any other? You'll always be my thunder, and I said your eyes are the brightest of all the colors. I don't wanna ever love another. You'll always be my thunder. So bring on the rain and bring on the thunder."
-Boys Like Girls :)

Tomorrow... SGA elections. Thats all I've got to say. Here I go.