Life is running away from me. I will barely be seeing my family in the next few months and have already barely seen them this semester at all. I'm overbooked, which is my own fault, but a problem nonetheless. Overbooking is generally how I compensate with stress, which makes no sense because it causes more stress. I've also had a cold since about 2 weeks into the semester and still have it, halfway through the semester. I've tried tons of meds. Last week I found out I have a staph infection in my leg, which could have become potentially serious. It's still healing up and it's coming along nicely. I was throwing up for 2 days straight due to some adverse reactions with some of the meds I'm taking. Everyone ostracizes me as if I'm a leper. I've had to miss a bunch of classes and am now failing at least 3 of them, I'm sure, which puts my scholarship in jeopardy and I refuse to allow my parents to pay for schooling out of pocket. I went home this weekend, mainly just so my mother would be assured that I'm not dying of staph, and I visited my grandparents. My grandfather's Alzheimers are getting really bad. What a terrible disease it is, stealing all recollections and memory a person has. It's hard watching the man I've grown up knowing as strong and stubborn, yet silly losing his memory. And he knows it's happening to him. I try to make him feel better by saying that sometimes my memory fails me too, but that provides little comfort. I've never been so scared for my family in my whole life. On top of all of this, my best friend and I aren't talking. And it's my fault. And I take full responsibility for it. It just took all this crap happening for me to fully recognize what I've done and what consequences I must live with now. I'm going on a mission trip on spring break, but I feel that I'm not even the right person to be going on this trip. I'm not in the right mindset. How am I supposed to tell people about Jesus when I'm straining to see him working in my life? Please pray for me. Please.